We already know that being involved with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder never works. But what is this exactly What makes the narcissist such an evil character in a relationship? What does the narcissist do then irreparable and why does he or she not care how much they emotionally devastate the other person? The answers to these and many other puzzling questions about narcissism can, in large part, be attributed to what I call the the narcissist’s pathological relationship agenda. It is an agenda that is not and can never lead to a healthy relationship. Based on lies and deception, it is as dysfunctional as it can be and you must realize exactly what it is.
It all starts with narcissistic (or sociopathic or psychopathic) borderline personality disorder, a disorder that basically makes a person, from childhood, unable to really feeling any number of compassionate human emotions (i.e. sympathy, empathy, and of course love). The inability to feel these emotions, however, does not mean that an intuitive narcissist cannot understand them and then imitate at the right times to achieve the desired result. Simply put, narcissistic partners will say anything to get what they want regardless of the other person’s feelings. Certainly evil in its own way, this particular pathological tactic, namely, the lie – gives the narcissist an emotion and is the basis of the agenda.
When the narcissist’s partner, as the recipient of the false gestures, realizes or discovers the lie, it is normal for them to feel betrayed, angry, shocked, confused, sad and more. Again, according to the agenda of the (pathological) relationship, it is now this suffering of the other person, a suffering caused by the narcissist. very own words or actions – that gives the narcissist a “high” … a feeling of importance … a feeling of being alive in his lifeless world. The more you suffer, the more he knows that you really care.
Yes, this may all sound wicked and harsh, but it is what it is. The pathological agenda plays out in every relationship the narcissist will ever have, whether it be with a lover, friend, brother, parent, coworker, or his own children. The fact is that these particular actions, as deliberately harmful as they are, are ingrained in the narcissistic personality and it can never ever be repaired. That being said, they should never be tolerated. Acknowledging this type of narcissistic emotional abuse and then separating from the individual causing the pain is the only way to end the bullshit.